Do You and Your Money Need to Break Up?
A conversation about money can be tough to have. If I asked you to show your closest friend or your partner your bank accounts, could you? How would that make you feel? Many partners share a bed, yet have difficulty talking about money.
Prosperity can be thought of as having happiness and money sustained over a long period of time. Perhaps you have generated a large amount of money and are still unhappy. Perhaps you are not satisfied with your current level of success. Perhaps you are surviving month-to-month. Why is that?
Instead of talking about the traditional ‘net-worth, budget, save more than we spend’ approach, I help you become aware of your relationship with money. I also help you learn who you need to become to attract what you want to have healthy money habits.
Are you aware of your true relationship with money?
To be responsible and in control of your money, you must first acknowledge your current situation. Are you happy? Is your current relationship one you want to be married to for life, or do you need to make changes? If you’re unhappy, it’s time to look a little deeper as to why you have an unhealthy relationship with money.
Start by asking questions about your money story. What were your parents’ beliefs about money? What did you believe about money as a child? Do you have negative or positive memories of money?
Asking myself these questions lead me to discover my unhealthy relationship with money. A re-occurring theme for me was ‘there is never enough.’ My thoughts around money were not always loving and I did not respect it. It occurred to me I wouldn’t treat my husband the way I treated my money, so I decided that the relationship needed to change.
What qualities do you want in a relationship with money?
You might think you know what you want with money: More of it! Yet any limiting or negative underlying beliefs will create resistance in achieving success.
What kind of relationship do you want with money? When I reflect on this, I look at another relationship I have, the one with my husband. I love him, I treat him with respect and kindness, and I would never abuse or misuse him. We enjoy spending time together; I don’t control him or obsess about him. In return he gives of himself generously, he supports me, and he allows me to be myself. There is a sense of freedom and joy in our relationship.
That’s the kind of relationship I want with money! I want it to be healthy, full of joy and freedom.
What do you value in a relationship with money?
Knowing what is important to you matters when working toward achieving a healthy relationship.
What’s important to you? Is it pleasure and leisure? Or time to nurture your health and spiritual goals? You may also find value in taking responsibility and making sure what is important to you is protected. Does your family rely on your income or health to support them? Do you have adequate emergency funds? Are you saving for retirement?
My family is important to me. I value savings. I want to travel with my daughters to places like Italy, Rome, and Scotland. I want to cultivate experiences and deeper relationships with my family. Having money provides me with the freedom to create these experiences.
Are you making the right decisions to better your relationship?
When thinking about your relationship with money, you want to know you’re making the right decisions. Your thoughts and emotions can range from knowing what to do, to doubt and struggle. A financial advisor can help you feel confident about making the decisions that are right for you.
In order to build confidence in yourself and to have a happy relationship with money, take time to recognize habits that don’t support you and create new habits instead. Stop disrespecting money by overspending in areas that aren’t important to you. Allow a sense of freedom to grow between you and money instead of controlling and restricting it. Be nice to your money daily, and plan to be together in the future by saving and investing long-term. Also, invest a little toward protecting what is important to you.
Ultimately, you are responsible for your relationship with money. If your beliefs and fears limit you from achieving the success you desire, you can choose to change your habits and have a healthier, happier relationship in the long run.
